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Universal Funeral Chapter 6

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Masters Of Chaos

-Dragon Realm-

Once again Contrast was going to be an unknown hero to a complete stranger.  Already he had defeated Diablos’s which in turn prevented Diablos from filling Ryou’s head with impossible mental challenges.  However Contrast knew Diablos would be back.  Diablos seemed to be immune to oblivion and all he feared was Marth but no one knew that…yet.

Contrast grabbed his trusty light halberd, sort of like a light saber but it doubles as everything, including a built in tooth brush and television schedule.  It was the pride of the dragon realm and Contrast himself has invented it.  Everyone in the Flying Killerz had their own personalized light halberd.  Also they could not be used by the wrong dragon because they can recognize paw prints and thus explode if you’re not the rightful owner.  So the light halberd was totally foolproof and uber.  Nobody messed with the Flying Killerz, even their old enemy, Paperon and his army was forced to sign a peace treaty recently.

Contrast was in the Flying Killerz base.  He walked though the halls and he saw some caterpie biting the walls.  He stared for few seconds in disbelief.

“CATERPIE ALERT!”  Contrast shouted at the top of his lungs and within seconds the entire base was on red alert.  All the dragons ran outside and awaited further instruction.

“I have the perfect solution!”  Hydrogentic started speaking.  “I have this anti-caterpie repellant from the just in case you need it company!  Man, I love those guys!”

Hydrogenetic sprayed the repel in the general direction of the Flying Killerz base and within seconds a massive herd of caterpie was seen crawling outside the base, far into the distance.

“VICTORY!”  Shouted all the dragons at once.

Suddenly Contrast’s light halberd began to ring.

He held it up to his ear.  “Hello?”  He uttered.

“Flying Killerz!  This is the local primary school!  It’s terrible, oh it’s so horrific!  We’re all traumatized!  We need your help now!”  A teacher dragon mumbled in fear.

“We’re on it!”  Contrast replied.  “Alright listen everyone, we have an extremely dangerous mission up ahead but I said we could do it.  We need to be brave!”

Contrast then briefed the mission to all his soldiers.

Afterwards they all had a look of intense fear in their faces.

“You can’t be serious sir!”  One of them shouted in protest.

Anyways Contrast had the last word and soon the entire Flying Killerz army was outside the dragon primary school.

“Sir, why aren’t your children at school?”  One solider uttered.

Contrast ignored him as he bashed open the door to the primary school and the whole Flying Killerz army helped the terrified children and teachers outside the building.  The look on all their faces was pure fear!

“Alright now we head in!”  Contrast yelled as the entire army sneaked inside the newly abandoned school building.

“They said it was here, room 72D!”  Contrast shouted as he knocked the door down with unnecessary force.

Half of the soldiers fainted in fear at what they then saw.  Contrast himself was frozen in fear for a few seconds before be bravely proceeded forwards.

-Corneria -

“So I heard you broke up with Kat Monroe because you accidentally bit her head doff with your beak?”  A Female avian bipedal bird said to Falco.

“Yeah!  She didn’t like my ‘drinking problem’ either.  Huh!  It’s a blessing, not a problem!  Hey what’s your name, baby?”  Falco replied, still completely drunk.

“My name is Falca.  Isn’t it ironic that it’s so similar to your name?”  She answered in awe.

“Oh we have a lot in common baby.  Hey, would you like to get married to me, on an Arwing?”  Falco responded.

“Uh sure, why not?”  Falca replied, somewhat amazed at this sudden offer.

-Kura’s mind-

Kura had escaped the celadon store but the 13 monster was still chasing him at the same speed he could walk at.

“I have a fantastic idea.”  Kura suddenly said aloud as he dived under some water.  13 dived after him.

“AW DAMN!  Not second time lucky!”  Kura complained bitterly.

-Hell-

Ryou had managed to wake up now.  He forgot all about Captain Falcon.

“I must have fallen asleep.”  He muttered.

He stared at Kura sadly.

“There’s nothing I can do.”  He said miserably.

Then Bowser burst into the room suddenly.

“Hey Ryou, you are under my power!”  He yelled loudly.

Ryou just stared.

‘What are you saying, Bowser?”

Bowser looked very disappointed.

“Again, I have failed!”  He roared before running away back to his own castle to have another huff.

-Dragon Realm-

Contrast bravely walked into the classroom and fixed his eyes on a pencil on the floor.

“Don’t look it in the eye, boss!  You’ll anger it and it might attack you!”  A solider yelled after him.

Slowly Contrast approached the fallen pencil and picked it up.  He then almost dropped it but caught it again as he bravely lifted it back up unto the table from which it had fallen.

“Mission accomplished!”  Contrast roared happily before exiting the classroom and then the entire army helped the amazed children and teachers back into the school.

Suddenly Contrast’s light halberd began to ring again.  He put it to his ear and listened carefully.

“Contrast!  It’s Hydrogenetic here!  I’m outside the base, it’s been invaded by dragon girl scouts!  They forced us out of the base!  We couldn’t beet their organized army!”  A voice frantically muttered.

Contrast led the entire army back to the base to confront this new enemy.

They saw him at the front of the base and ran for their lives!

Contrast was well feared.

“Well done Contrast!  Now I must go back to my laboratory.” Hydrogenetic finished.

Hydrogenetic was hard at work in his laboratory.  His current project was a ‘kill me’ dragon.  It was horribly deformed and kept begging to be put out of it’s misery but Hydrogenetic thought it was joking and loved living.

Hydrogenetic redefined the meaning of ‘mad scientist’.  Heck, he even had a collection of alternative universe that he kept in jars.  He would visit them from time to time for fun, as he had visited Kura.

“That 13 creature was beautifully deformed!  He would make a perfect specimen for me!”  Hydrogenetic said cheerfully to himself before he teleported inside the same jar that led to Kura’s mind!

-Kura’s mind-

“We meet again!”  Hydrogenetic said to Kura.

By now, 13 had chased Kura into the mystic 3D pokemon land of Ore.

“I’m a little too busy to talk right now!”  Kura shouted as he was still running from 13 as fast as he could.

“That creature would make a fine specimen for me!”  Hydrogenetic boasted.

“Just try and capture it!”  Kura laughed sarcastically.

“Luckily my light halberd also doubles as storage for items.  UBER BALL GO!”  He roared.

13 disappeared into the Uber Ball and it shook three times and then music was played out of no where.

Hydrogenetic picked up the Uber Ball with 13 in it and smiled.  “Mission accomplished!”  He laughed manically.

“Can you get me out of here?”  Kura suddenly asked to Kura.

“Click your heels three times and say ‘all your base are belong to us!”  Hydrogenetic answered before he teleported back to his laboratory.

Kura complained but did as he was told.

“All your base are belong to us!  All your base are belong to us!  All your base are belong to us!”  Kura chanted.

-Hell-

It worked.  Kura woke up in Ryou’s arms.

Ryou was delighted.

“MASTER!  You’re awake!  Now let’s play a Super Smash Bros Melee match!”

“Do you have any idea of what I’ve been through!?”  Kura muttered in reply as he broke free from Ryou’s grip and staggered backwards.

“Your own twisted mind?”  Ryou suggested confused.

“Now how about a HUG!?”  Kura shouted as he lunged towards Ryou very fast.

“I’ll never understand you, master.”  Ryou whispered.

-Oblivion-

Diablos was facing divine judgment from God…A.K.A. the narrator who still lived with his mother.

“DIABLOS DIABOLICAL!  I never knew yee!  Depart from me into the of fire, prepared for Satan and his angels…no wait!  That won’t destroy you.  Er… I’ll send for Marth to eliminate you from existence!”  God uttered loudly.

“No, anyone but Marth Lowell!”  Diablos roared in disagreement.

Suddenly Diablos saw Marth charging at him extremely fast.  The speed of light in fact.  Diablos spotted a door and went through it.  The door back into the afterlife.  He had cheated afterdeath once again.

-Hell-

Kura looked concerned.

“Now while I was in a coma, did Bowser do anything to you at all!?”  He said a little too loudly.

“He said I was under his power.”  Ryou replied with a ‘so not scared’ look on his face.

“Yeah he’s always trying strange things, that half brother of mine!”  Kura responded before he left the room to check on his ‘sons’ Mewtwo and Shadow.

They were fighting again.

“This time, daddy shall see that I am truly superior to you!”  Mewtwo yelled at Shadow.

“No way!  My promise is more powerful!”  Shadow snapped back.

“Hey kids, remember I’m immortal, I don’t think either of you will take over hell any time soon and remember your granddad isn’t dead either!”  Kura interrupted.

“Well at least you’ll see I am stronger than that hedgehog!”  Mewtwo roared as he glowed with psychic power.

“Your balls are no match for my promise!” Shadow screeched back angrily.

“I guess I’ll see what Bowser is doing then!”  Kura uttered before heading across the bone bridge over the river Styx to Bowser’s castle.

“BOWSER!  What do you want from Ryou?”  Kura screeched loudly.

“I want to kidnap him.”  Bowser said simply.

“You really enjoying kidnapping people, don’t you Bowser?”  Kura laughed.

“I know, I already kidnapped Princess Peach, Zelda and Marth’s sister!”  Bowser boasted proudly.

“WHAT!?  MARTH’S SISTER!  He’s going to be so very angry!”  Kura shouted in disbelief.

“Huh, did I do something wrong?”  Bowser replied, with a confused look on his face.

“You have just endangered all of hell by kidnapping Marth’s sister!”  Kura yelled angrily.

“Oh come on, I’m sure you can defeat the tiara-man all by yourself!”  Bowser laughed, unaware of the danger he’d put himself in.

“All the power stars in the universe won’t help you now, you fool!”  Kura shouted, still extremely mad.

“What are you going to tell me next, do I have to feed them or something?”  Bowser mumbled confused.

“You haven’t feed your hostages!?”  Kura boomed furiously.

“Uh no, do I need to?”  Bowser said, perplexed at everything Kura was saying.
Enjoy
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TheUnorthadox's avatar
:rofl: Each new chapter is just as random as the previous!